Soccer Boy

How many activities should a 6-year-old be doing?

LAS VEGAS ?" Now that my oldest daughter has turned 6, she is eligible

for a whole new world of activities. She wants to try everything,

and I have to admit I am excited about her options, too. When I was growing

up, I was into gymnastics, cheerleading and dance. But I wonder whether I

might have done better in sports like softball and tennis if I??d been taught

them from a young age. Competitive swimming didn??t even make my

radar. I was just happy to bob around in the pool and do handstands.

Last year my daughter only did gymnastics. But this year she wanted to

add dance. Then her summer swim teacher wanted her to try out for

swim team. Then she wanted to do theater. Oh, and did I mention Girl

Scouts? Clearly we are facing an overload of activities, and I want to make sure

we find the right balance for our family. I want to make sure I don??t go

crazy and that my role isn??t exclusively as a taxi service.

??Children whose mothers go crazy don??t do well,?? said Dr. Alvin

Rosenfeld, co-author of the book ??The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-

Parenting Trap?? and a lecturer at Harvard Medical School. ??We

have to protect your mental health.?? Rosenfeld wrote the book after observing

what he calls ??hyper-parenting?? in his community, where parents believe

that to succeed in life, they have to enroll kids in every activity.

??It was inducing many parents to oversubscribe, overdo, and lose a sense

of balance,?? he said. Activities can be an important part of a

child??s life, and of course, fun, but ??we??ve professionalized

sports to a degree where we??re really seriously running risks of

damaging kids?? bodies.?? Rosenfeld said finding the right balance is different

for every family. Some families thrive on constantly being on the

go, while others do not. Balance means each family member is having his

or her needs met. He suggests overwhelmed parents cut back 5 percent,

and then try another 5 percent until they are happy with the result.

Dusty Cinnamon, a Perry, Okla., father of two, admits that at 20

hours a week, his 11-year-old daughter probably spends too many

hours at gymnastics practice in another town. (She is a state champion gymnast).

His 10-year-old daughter spends three hours a week doing soccer, and

both girls go to church youth group after school once a week.

??I was in tons of activities in school and today as an adult, I am very

efficient with my time. And I believe those activities I loved built the competitive

nature I carry today,?? he said. Cinnamon said he and his wife searched hard to

find activities both girls excelled at, and made sure they would not compete

against each other.